Questions We Ask Ourselves When We Cannot Get Over a Loss

It's natural to have a lot of questions when you grieve the loss of a loved one, even if you don't have the answers to them. Many people ask themselves questions like “why has this happened?” or “how am I supposed to move on?” after experiencing a loss. Although it's different for everyone and there are no easy answers, we hope that by providing some insight, we can help you begin to find the answers to these questions.

Many people question themselves when they are grieving. It is normal to question what has happened and to try to make sense of your loss. Grief is a natural response to loss, but everyone deals with it in different ways. Some people may become more withdrawn, while others may seek out social activities.

These are the five most frequently asked questions that we've come across while assisting grieving families.

If I don't think I'll ever get over the death of my spouse (or child, sister, or friend), what should I do?

Since death is something that cannot be avoided, it is also something that cannot be conquered. Rather, it’s something you learn to work with and adapt to so that you can keep moving forward.

Even though I go to a support group, I feel lonely all the time. I don't feel like anyone there understands what I'm dealing with. What's wrong with me that I can't seem to connect with anyone? 

Because grief is such an intimate and personal experience, it affects everyone differently. Even if you have experienced a similar loss, the person you are grieving for may be coping in ways that are entirely different from your own experience. Grief is something that we experience alone, and it can be difficult to make sense of all the feelings that come with it. You could be smiling and then sobbing the next minute while watching a movie. Talking about your experiences with someone can help you to cope with your sadness and express your emotions, even if it feels like no one understands.

I’ve started to notice that there’s a disconnect between me and some of my friends. Why aren’t they trying to help me?

Losing someone important in your life is one of the toughest challenges you can face. Your friends may not know how to act around you, but it's important to let them know that you still need them in your life. They may just be feeling uneasy about the situation and need some reassurance. Some people can't stand being around or thinking about grief. If you notice your friends or family starting to distance themselves from you, don't be afraid to reach out. Having a conversation might help them understand that, even though it's tough, you need them to be there for you.

Despite the fact that it is difficult and unfortunate, expecting that they won’t interfere and interact with you is a moral block you should avoid, and it could even create the wrong impression towards them when you know that this may happen.

Why is the doctor/therapist trying to give medication to me when I am uncomfortable with it? I'm not sure how I'll tell them no.

Inform them of this. Do not frighten them into taking it; however, let them know that you feel uneasy and that you feel you may be falling behind in your medication.

It feels like it's been a lifetime since my loved one passed away. The pain is still as fresh as the day they died. Why am I still not feeling better?

Grief is a process characteristic. It describes how long it takes before you feel the full extent of your losses. The only limit on the amount of time you have to recover is your willpower.

It’s important to feel compassion for yourself so that you can take a step back and reflect on the little moments of real joy you’ve experienced. Each little moment of appreciation alone can be life-changing.